She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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