Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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