I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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