why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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