i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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