My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
