Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My life is pants optional.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
