Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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