Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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