Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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