just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
