There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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