Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
