it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
