How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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