He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
