so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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