How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
