windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
