sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
