Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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