you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
