i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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