I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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