): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
