Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
