I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
