I'm going to jail i love you
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
