I can text with my tongue
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Operation Purity has been aborted
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
