I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
