So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
