i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
