he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
