they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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