so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
