i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
