You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
