I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
