She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
