Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
