I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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