3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
where does the pee come out of this thing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
