The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
