that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
