Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
