as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
