You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
