You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
