YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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