So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
