Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
