yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
